Hast thou ever pondered the arrangement of being a specter? I can vouch with some conviction that what thou hast garnered from tales or witnessed in thy media is, of course, utter falsehood, but it doth provide sufficient semblance to sketch the outline of the thing. Contemplate for a moment, how would dost occupy thy days if thou hast no need or inclination to slumber and partake in repast? If you lacked ingress to thy wise device, and so afflicted have no means to commune with even thy dearest kin? If my lot is not aberrant, perambulating in a set course and reflecting upon thy surroundings would be thy chief diversions. As circumstance would have it, I am bound to a deserted dwelling and a stand of unkept trees in the most forsaken part of New Jersey that thou wouldst dare to contemplate.
Alas, I am forever garbed in the raiment in which I met my demise, a torment in and of itself. Despite my external appearance, I am a regular, contemporary damsel. Or more accurately, an un-damsel. I forsook my mortal vessel on the twenty-third day of April, in the year of our Lord two thousand and two, at the hour of seven and twenty-two in the evening. One doth tend to remember such dates, for perhaps obvious reasons. I was engaged in revelry at a masquerade in the eve proceeding All Hallows Day, falling from an open window in a befuddled state due to partaking of an excess of spirits. I am thus condemned to traverse this earthly coil as a spirit herself, clothed as I am as an implausible tavern wench from some indistinct era and locale.
With an abundance of free time at my disposal, I have endeavored to embrace my lot and immerse myself in the role. What inkling I have of being a bar wench is scant, beyond tabling tankards of ale and shanks of mutton, whilst engaging in the art of bending to exhibit my ample bosom and fitful fetlock in hopes of a fair gratuity for services rendered. Alas, I have access not to stoups of ale nor taverns in which to stoop, hence I have been practicing the usage of the olde tongue in its stead. In this I have need to be inexact, for I possess no notion of its true complexion nor ways to gain the resources requisite for demystifying such mannerisms.